Poem: Awaken Now

Awaken Now

12-12-2008

A line of elders cheer me on,
I am urged to walk on this path,
For I can only see a few steps ahead of me,
Some elders and ancestors shake my hand,
Others offer some wisdom,
A blessing,
Healing,
I am four years old,
I am curious,
Curious about the world,
I shout,
“Infinity, infinity, infinity,”
I am amazed by life,
My presents,
The Wrapping paper,
Came from the Earth,
I am eight years old,
My path grew colder,
I cut my wrists,
But I feel it is like art,
To inflict pain on my body,
I gaze up at the stars,
Feeling at home,
I am twelve years old,
My jean jacket,
Pockets filled with change,
Smoking a cigarette,
Riding my bike with the purple tire in the front,
Pink tire in the back to my friends house ¾ of a mile away,
It’s a quiet Sunday,
We sneak some alcohol from her parents cupboard,
I ride my bike home at night,
To slow down I let me white shoes from Payless drag and bounce off of the payment,
I walk inside my home and run,
I am sixteen years old,
After a long day of practice I gaze up at the sky,
Feeling connected to it,
My first moments of oneness,
The grass below my running shoes,
I walk home,
Walking under the train bridge,
Thinking about the Earth,
The healing,
I am twenty years old,
My running career just died,
My heart is on fire,
Blackened,
I run,
Hate,
The land I cannot feel,
Torment of the past,
I live in self deprecation,
Radio,
Loud music,
Stereo out of control,
Dark spirits,
No angels,
I am twenty four years old,
My healing has begun,
I try to love me,
I try to love my body,
My whole self,
Its not working,
I crumble,
But,
Begin rebuilding,
I am here now,
Twenty-seven years old,
I am here,
Healed,
Ancestors show me my journey,
What I have chosen to face,
What I have chose to heal,
And I smile at them,
They smile back at me,
They point down my path,
There is a bright light,
And at the end,
Ancestors wait,
Elders wait,
Smiling as I make my way down this road,
Arriving,
Now.